Examination- ‘Only way to golden door to a bright future’……………Is it really?

The word Examination itself creates a lot of stress and anxiety in the minds of young adults, their parents, and teachers.

The most affected are the young adults. They start dealing with this, right from the time they begin their schooling. By the time they reach high school, examination-related stress, anxiety, and tension increase multiple fold.

• Examinations are stressful because students have to understand, learn, remember, and recall a lot of information in a limited time.

• Examinations are stressful because students and not just their knowledge will be judged based on their performance in those just three hours in the examination hall.

• Examinations are stressful because of expectations of the parents, relatives and society and the pressures built up by them.

• Examinations are stressful because of personal aspirations, expectations of students and the prevailing extreme competition.

• Examinations are stressful as these are assumed to be the only way to open the golden doors to a bright and successful future.

Parents and teachers in their effort to motivate and maintain the pressure on students constantly tell them that -

• If you score well your life will be set.

• If you don’t work hard, others will outshine you.

• If you don’t perform well in exams, you will struggle all through your life.

• What people will say if you don’t do well in exams?

• You have to perform well in exams and bring honour to the family. You have to score well and fulfil our dreams.

• You are our only hope, don’t disappoint us.

• Our neighbour’s/relative’s children have done well so you have to do well too.

• If you are not able to get an admission in a professional college, what will you do to earn a respectable income?

These and other such anxiety and guilt-ridden statements may usually be bombarded on the young and impressionable minds, as early as in the first grade.

Some students who are either sensitive or think they do not have enough capability to meet their parents’ expectations, or do not have an inclination to become a doctor or an engineer may start feeling guilty.

Constant persuasive reminders to perform well in exams may lead them to feel worthless, helpless, and hopeless. As a result, these students may start contemplating to end their pain by ending their lives.

As parents, teachers, and relatives, if you are able to remove the pain of those students, you may be able to save many precious and promising lives.

The foremost step you can take is to challenge your own deep-rooted insecurities and unrealistic expectations. World has drastically changed. There are so many options and opportunities. Team up with your children and explore the possibilities in the area of their interest.

The other step you can take is to find out positive ways to motivate your young ones. Instilling fear of failure may demoralize and discourage the youth. It may also affect their creativity, spontaneity, and risk-taking ability.

Examination stress is real. Don’t assume that once the examination is over your child will be fine or assume that ‘my child cannot harm himself/herself.’

It may not go away if the student develops psychological pain due to loss of self-esteem and failure to live up to parental expectations.

Every year, hundreds of students commit suicide. In most of the cases it comes as a shock to parents and teachers. Know about the warning signs and be alert. A timely intervention may save the life of your child.

Suicidologist, Shneidmen, explained that “In almost every case, suicide is caused by… psychological pain, or “psycheache”…. Suicidal death, in other words, is an escape from pain….” Psychache is the hurt, anguish, or ache that takes hold in the mind…. The pain of excessively felt shame, guilt fear anxiety, loneliness, angst, and dread…….. Its introspective reality is undeniable. Suicide happens when the psychache is deemed unbearable and death is actively sought to stop the unceasing flow of painful consciousness.”

It’s very important for parents, teachers, and other significant people in student’s life to notice any warning signs and take help.

A marked change is student’s mood and behaviour may be a significant warning of possible suicide. For example, student-

• Becomes depressed and withdrawn.

• Undergoes marked decline in self-esteem.

• Shows Deterioration in personal hygiene.

• Shows unusually impulsive and or reckless behaviour, including self-mutilating.

• Gives away prized possessions, or unusual gift-giving.

• Writes stories and poems about death, dying, or suicide.

• Profound loss of interest in studies.

• Stops attending classes and stays at home most of the day or runs away from home.

• Communicates the distress to at least one other person, often in the form of a veiled suicide warning.

• Saying things like, “I’d be better off dead,” “I wish I could disappear forever,” or “There’s no way out.”

• Speaking positively about death or romanticizing dying (“If I died, people might love me more”)

The impact of examination stress increases many fold if there are other stressful events happening in the student’s life like loss of a close interpersonal relationship, often the breakup of a romantic relationship, accident, illness, or death in the family etc.

So, it’s high time to come out of denial that your child or student will never think about taking the extreme step.

Our awareness can save many precious lives.